Feeling the kick of a 'baby kick'!!??!!

Ever since I got pregnant, two things don't seem to get off my mind - 

When will my tummy show?

And when will my baby kick??

And both are taking their sweet own time!!  But then should I be worried or should I be happy??

When I told this to one of my friends, whose son is around four months old and is soooo cute and round that can't resist to cuddle him hard - she had a very different take on it. "Good Na that the baby is not kicking yet. What's the hurry?? My this one was so heavy and so active.. Would be turning and kicking all the time - creating havoc inside of me. Trust me, when the kicking will start, you will remember me."

I realised she was right. Anyways sleeping had become a problem. And to top to that if your little one is constantly knocking at the wall of your uterus.. Imagine how peacefully you will sleep then. Phew!!!

Still, if you really need to know (like me) when to expect what before it actually starts. Here is a quick pictorial guide to baby kicks in various weeks. 

Image Source

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PC: Google!

Some say you don't feel like a mother unless you have felt that kick.  Happiness indeed is in feeling the baby, kicking in your belly. How else will he or she communicate to you? Isn't this how they are going to say "Hello"? 

If you observe minutely or create a pattern, certain voices (Like yours or your husband's) or some music piece or some words; will instigate responses better than at random times.  So talk to your child and let it kick you back for you to know he or she loves you already!!

But all these responses are not yet present and that's freaking you out. Don't worry, it's not like the movements are absent. It is just that you do not feel them as yet.

But dude what's the hurry? Few months here and there.. Because once a mother,  you will always be that mother. And then you might want to run back to being this reckless rock chick and may not have that luxury of choice!!!

Till then you could do some retail therapy and coax your baby to give you that kick... 

Check out such t-shirts and a lot more at Motherhood Maternity. 

So many Ultrasound scans.. Should I be worried?

When your mother was pregnant, she was just pregnant and had to go for regular check ups. But now when you are pregnant, your are not 'just' pregnant - you are pregnant in that era when getting pregnant is a very big deal. This generation will no longer have 10-12 kids trotting around them (not only for financial reasons, but biological as well). Once your grandmother could have had as many as eleven kids, all those who are now your uncles and aunts. But you might barely produce two. With the growing stress and PCODs and other various disorders amongst couples - bearing a child is quite a 'luck' thing. With all these IVFs and other practices coming to everyone's rescue as a boon, making all pregnancies extremely precious. As my physician once told me, "We value every pregnancy as if this is going to be the last one. Hence, we never recommend abortions to couple, warning them in advance that a wrong move now and they could repent for life."

And so.. Every pregnancy now is very minutely monitored. With the advancement in science, there are various investigations that one does in the pre-natal phase, to ensure that your baby is coming out healthy. Gone are those days, when you had to check after delivering if all the limbs are present or no. You can check that and a lot more now... Thanks to the various Ultrasound scans (or sonography as commonly known). Though none of them are a compulsory thing, but if you are an urbane mother-to-be, your doctor will ensure he/she gets all those done, without giving you an option to skip them. In a way, it is good - you are assured everything is fine inside - no anxiety of the unknown!

Image Source

Let me take you through what they will expect you to do in the first 5 months and what does that reveal (if your doctor didn't have the patience to explain it to you in person, read it here!)

1. Ultrasound SCANS:

a) First Scan: Done between 6 - 8 weeks. (Could cost anywhere between INR800/- to INR1500/- depending on your centre and location)

This one, first of all, confirms your pregnancy. Even after having skipped your period and having done the urine test; you will be advised to do this scan to further confirm your pregnancy and to check whether everything is normal. 

Things they check:

- The gestational sac and the foetus inside it. The size they measure gives them an idea of the date of conception. And hence, confirm the age in terms of exact weeks and the due date. 

- The position of the placenta - whether it is a normal pregnancy or an ectopic one. In case of the later, immediate action is needed. (This one is the most important thing they check)

- Any internal bleeding. (If so, they will advice you to take bedrest immediately and prescribe a hormonal intake to sustain the pregnancy)

- Cardiac activity begins by now and they check whether it is normal or are there any signs of worry. 

- Single or multiple pregnancies? 

- Check on the cervix - Initially it should become thicker to support the pregnancy and the internal os should get closed. In the later stage, closer to the delivery date, it starts to prepare so as to make way for the baby to come out. Till then its job is to hold everything inside. 

(At this stage it is too soon to note for any abnormalities, for which, they have all the follow up scans)

b) NT and/or NB Scan:Done between 11-13 weeks. Could cost anywhere between INR1000/- to INR2000/- depending on your centre and location)

This one is the second one usually. Though they check all the other basic parameters as well (elaborated below); NT stands for Nuchal Translucency and NB stands for Nasal Bone - This is what they specially report. 

Things they check:

- All the basic parameters - gestational sac and foetus and its age and size in cm; cardiac activity, foetal movements and their intensity, placenta position, internal os of the cervix, amniotic fluid quantity(very important for adequate fluid to be present at all times) and whether the ductus venosis is normal and shut.

- NT - Nuchal Translucency - In which they measure the liquid around the neck. This helps identify any chromosomal defects like the Down Syndrome. 

- NB - Nasal Bone - It is very important that the nasal bone be present. If it is absent when you do this early around the 11th week, they may ask you to come again. If the nasal bone is absent - it is also a sign of the chromosomal defect. Hence, the test. 

c) Anomaly Scan: Done between 18-22 weeks. Could cost anywhere between INR2500/- to INR3500/- depending on your centre and location)

This is one of the most detailed ones - Go there with enough time in hand (2hours), because they need to study all the various parameters and it is important that the baby co operates with them. And that is beyond anyone's control (how the baby is going to be positioned inside). Hence, go prepared for the waiting and multiple sessions to for the baby to give the right image. 

Things they check:

- Needless to repeat the basics they will most definitely check to begin with -  gestational sac and foetus and its age and size in cm; cardiac activity, foetal movements and their intensity, placenta position, internal os of the cervix, amniotic fluid quantity and fatal weight (Yes by now they can tell you exactly how much it is weighing inside you)

Anomaly means something that deviates from the normal or expected. As the name suggests, in this test, they check for any anomalies in each and every organ of the body - the minutest of things to rule out any doubts. Things that we, as laywomen, will not understand. And I feel we shouldn't try over analyse either. Let them (the various specialists doctors) do their job. All in all I would like to say that they check all the following:

- Head

- Spine

- Neck

- Face

- Heart

- Abdomen

- Kidney and Urinary Bladder

- Limbs

(In case any anomalies noted, they mark in bold and give it in the report for the gynaecologist to explain it to you and for you'll to together take an appropriate action for the same. 

Please Note: Some elderly women in the family will advice you against the Ultrasound Scans, claiming that they cause some damage to the foetus. But it hasn't been proved yet!! Even for the side effects of X-Rays, it took them decades to figure. But over the past twenty years, they haven't found any solid proof over the side effects (if at all they exist) around the USG scans. So till then, explore and be informed about those things that matter a lot more now. 

Also, I haven't mentioned one important thing up there - Usually the USG scans are done by rubbing the transducer(the light coloured joystick kind of a thing) on your tummy. But in some cases, where it is difficult to get the right image from the top, they try to look from the other side - ie. through your vagina. So don't be scared if they ask you to take your pants off and request you to allow them to check from there. It is absolutely safe and hygienic (ensure they are covering the transducer with an unused condom before they insert it in). 

And last but the most important thing to be noted in India - Though all these scans are fully capable of telling you the gender of your baby - Nowhere in India, will any radiologist (the doctor who does the sonography) will reveal that to you. We, as a Nation, are obsessed with 'boys' and the discrimination has led to a lot of female foeticide. So, don't even think of asking - rather read those bold notices that they hang on the walls in the waiting areas that have details of how they penalise those who have found out the gender through scans. Wait for the gift to unwrap itself when it's time!!

10 SIGNS that confirm your pregnancy!! No need for all those tests!!

Even if no one tells you - neither your urine test nor your sonography - Here are 10 signs that will a hundred percent confirm your pregnancy:

1. Sleep, my love, where art thou!!!???!!!

You feel as tired as the soldier who has fought hard for months in this battle and yet when you lie down on the bed at night - Sleep seems to have evaded you. You try and try and doze off for a while, only to wake up like an Owl in the night, miserably lying next to your husband who is snoring away to glory. 

PC: Google

2. Patience - I have lost it somewhere!!

Everything in the world - from your husband's impromptu hug to your mother's sweet advice to your friend's ringtone to the aroma of your own cooking - anything and everything in the world will irritate you and you will lose out on your patience and roam around like this annoyed, mad woman. 

3. Where did all those good drivers disappear?

Even if your husband was the best driver in the world, the one to have taught you driving and the one who has sat through all your terrible accidents and bad driving days - You will soon give up on his driving! Every horn, every bump, every break, every gear change - you will criticise in your head - hold your tummy like the baby is going to fall off and curse your husband every now and then. 

4. Why has the world turned around 180 degrees...?

Everything that once enjoyed doing is now going to turn you off. All the food that you always relished will now not be on your mind... And all those other things  you didn't particularly enjoy; you will start craving. 

5. Puke.. Its not just a fluke!!

If everything that ever went in, came out from the wrong way in the morning... Instead of a morning dump, you will go for a morning puke.. (One of the first signs that all the old aunties catch on..!!)

6. Is my tap leaking??

You have never peed so much in your life, and it all seems to be pouring out in these nine months. You will wake up in the nights, you will feel the pressure all through the day - you would have just come out of the loo, when you might feel that your bladder is still full. You might wonder you have become the leaking tap of the house. 

PC: http://www.clickypix.com

7. He was just being nice!!

When everything your husband says feels offensive.. When you want to run away from this house to your mother's house and then when you reach there - want to run back to your husband!! When each time he tries to earnestly tell you that he loves you, you twist it around to pick up a fight and cry... You should know that the marriage is not crippling... You are merely pregnant!

PC: http://www.clickypix.com

8. Why so hairy?
Suddenly you will see all those extra hairs growing below your naval, making you wonder where are they suddenly growing from. Sooner than you will know they will grow here there and everywhere even!!

9. You care little about finishing stuff!!!

I thought Ill jolt down some 10 signs.. But lost patience and mood at no. 9... Woohoo.. I am pregnant and it is confirmed!!!

Suddenly unemployed and feeling worthless!! It's time for a new 'Bucket List'!!

Yesterday I was with my bestie discussing about a common friend of ours who is also rumoured to be pregnant. She very confidently said, "I don't think she will plan now... She has her great going career to attend to before anything else." To that her sister argued, "She is already thirty. The career won't run away. She will get a maternity leave to top that. I think she could be pregnant." The other one argued more confidently, "No I am very sure she won't get pregnant at this point. She is doing very well in her career." 

I sat there dumb founded. I had just finished a feature film in an esteem position in production, completed my script and had started pitching it to actors; when I found out I was pregnant. My career was also going uphill. And I still had a lot of time before my biological clock started ticking. Then did I get pregnant at the wrong time? Will this mean an end of an era in my professional life? Will I never be able to get back to work with that ferocity? 

All such questions always corner an ambitious women to analyse the decisions she has taken in her life that are not "conventionally" success oriented. We, the latest generation, driven by money and urban life, are so strongly convinced that the definition of success lies in your professional pursuits and bank balance numbers. Most often we ignore and over look the joys that lie in the simplicity of living! We have forgotten what 'living' is for that matter. 

This led to me thinking: What are the options you have if you are a working woman and still want to have a child? How are you going to modify your life to make the best of both worlds?

=> If you work in any corporate organisation, where you have sufficient months of paid maternity leave and then adequate months of unpaid months' leave approval - then you are in the safest zone. You don't have to leave your job - All you need to do is just plan your months wisely. And more so, they give you sufficient months to make the necessary changes in your lifestyle (Calling your mother or in-laws, hiring a maid, accustoming the baby to a milk bottle and so on).

=> But if you are a freelancer with a project based working style - There may be times in the first and second trimester when you would pray that some projects should come in so that you can get done with them well in time before your delivery time. Because after that you will at least need 4-5 months to recuperate and get back to full time work. And at that time, you will have no scope of picking up offers, however lucrative they may be. And the irony of life is such that when you will hope to have work, you will be jobless; and when you will not have the option to pick up work, you will be flooded with offers. This is the tricky part. Sail through! I faced it! Many face it! You could be lucky but if not! Don't worry... This time will pass soon. Sooner than you will realise, the time would have resurfaced when you will be able to take up offers. And you will forget that there was a year in the middle when you had become really frustrated with yourself and work was really low and you were wondering whether you will ever get back to work. 

Now if you are a freelancer or not; but are jobless and the 'no money' 'no activity' phase is driving you crazy; you could take out all those 'bucket lists' you ever made and compile down a new one for the things you could do this season.

1. Watch all those films you have missed out on - Rent DVDs and book your afternoons or rather nights when sleep evades you!

2. Catch up on all those TV shows you hear your friends enthusiastically talk about when you would 

wonder how on Earth did they have so much time! 

3. Good Books are always plenty and a life time too short! 

4. Forgotten the last time you created a masterpiece with that stroke of brush? Time to get back to the art form you once enjoyed so much - Could be painting, sketching, crafts or some musical instrument!

5. Learn a new language - Has been on your list since you were a teen but never got to doing that. 

6. WRITE.. May be a blog or a Novel or who knows a film is waiting to be written by you... This is the time! 

7. Have been too busy with life to organise your kitchen or re-do your bedroom or get new curtains for the drawing room - this is the time... You won't have to rely on all that the interior designer has to tell you - go to the web and explore and decorate!!!

8. Chalk out plans for future - reorganise your funds and make some sensible investments(the ones you were pushing for later), plan future travels, ideate and find new things to enhance your career when you hit back to it.  

9. Go back to your roots - remember what you granny or mommy did? Knit something beautiful for the little one! 

10. Have been on a run since you started... You could take a pause and watch your breath - Learn meditation, yoga or start on a spiritual journey. May be it has been awaiting you since some time. 

I have been trying to do it all... And trust me, life flows... With renewed positivity. And you will be surprised that some of this could even fetch you some 'moolah' to bring on the bonus bumpy smile!

Book Review: 'Pregnancy' - The Complete Childbirth Book By Nutan Pandit

Of all the books that I came across at the various book stalls in Mumbai, this one claimed my attention first. I was very clear that I didn't want to read anything that was not catering to being pregnant in India. How much we may claim that the world is now a smaller place and all cultures have come together - we all still have very different lives in different countries. So picking up something that was going to be more useful for the US or UK market didn't make sense. And this one was very easily available in a local shop. Thus, this became the first book I read during my pregnancy.

Review: 
Book: Pregnancy - The Complete Childbirth Book

Author: Nutan Pandit (Associate, National Childbirth Trust, London)

Publisher: Rupa Publications

If you are looking for something that is easy to understand with all the basic information that you should know, with some interesting and engaging illustrations and useful tips - this book is for you.
It doesn't overload you with any unnecessary medical information that will be difficult for you to comprehend. It has all the medical terms also simplified for common reading. That makes it easier for anxious mothers to find her answers and not stress too much. It is also quite up to date with the latest trends in terms of USG scans and blood tests and simplifies that information also.

Another good part about the book is that it balances all those age old Indian myths or traditional tips and the latest medical supplements. And gives proper, valid justification in favour or against of both. There are good tips on exercises and eating habits. Also, it prepares you positively for a healthy, natural delivery - taking away all those fears that must have seeped into your brain due to the exaggerated representation of labour pain in films or myths. It also answers a lot of delicate questions revolving around sex and other precautions rather sensitively.

The chapters are also very well structured and answers almost all your questions.

All in all, I would say - Good read!! If you are not much of a reader, this book can be a good bet - as it is not too heavy, has almost all the information you will need a validation on and is very easy flowing in terms of language and structure. 

There are many other books on child care and parenting by the Author Nutan Pandit that are easily available online as well.

Dear Stress, Lets Break Up! My Baby is sleeping!

There are times when you know you are probably overthinking to unnecessary bother yourself and the little one inside! But you defend your actions, claiming that you are helpless and what is happening to you is beyond your control. 

In pregnancy, there are basically two ways to fall in this harmful trap of 'stress'. Either you are stressing over the pregnancy or there is an external event, having nothing to do with the pregnancy, that is causing the stress. If it is the later one, for e.g.. something at work place or some major crisis in the family or some illness or death of a close person and so on; then there is very little you can do to change the situation. All you have to do is modify your reaction to your situation. But in the first case, where you are stressing over being pregnant or dreading how life will be once the child is around and so on; then you really need to give your self a reality check and come to terms with the positivity that revolves around a pregnancy and the child which is going to change your life for the better. 

I was recently in this situation, just around the time when I was having crazy mood swings, that a certain old issue from my previous project cropped up and on further investigation it so turned out that it was my mistake and I really needed to compensate for it. Not only financially but also take charge and accept that it is my blunder and all this while, when I had already gone on my maternity leave, I didn't realise what it meant. I not only had to own up to it but also prove that it was a mistake and not an effort to con someone. As the issue cropped up out of nowhere; I was suddenly hit by a strong wave of stress. I couldn't sleep in the afternoons, even at nights - sleep was full of nightmares revolving around the situation, I wouldn't feel like eating, continuously my brain would run back to that situation and there was this certain fear in my heart leading to an acute and continuous pain in the chest.  I could somehow feel that the baby was stressing with me and I couldn't help it. The more I would try to distract my mind, the more it would run back to it. My husband was keeping very busy at that time and I had no one other than me to help me feel better... I was in a mess and I knew I had to fight out of it. 

Over the weekend, I called for an impromptu get-together with some close friends. I some how felt that the nonstop chatter outside will silence the voices inside my brain. And it worked miraculously. Happy people around you, make you happy inside! Then I convinced my self that now that this situation had come up, there was no way of running away, so rather accept and face the consequences. Once you make up your mind to face a situation, half your problems dissolve! It gave me strength. I decided 'Jo hoga dekha jayega!' - enough of torturing the baby! And lastly, I started to find ways to occupy my mind - cooking and cleaning the house (though it didn't help much) and went for a random interview. That day on my way back from the interview I was reminded of this friend of mine whose husband died very young - leaving behind her and their four years old son! They were on a vacation and something triggered an infection and he died on the spot. The thought of her and what she must have felt then, and now how she has emerged out to be such a fighter - made me instantly realise that my problem was nothing when compared to that. When in a situation like that - you need to stress... For all those other times - just breathe and think straight! That evening I spoke to my boss, confided in him with the truth and a sincere apology and he accepted it and asked me not to stress. I celebrated with a cup cake and smiled all evening! 


But this incident taught me a very important lesson (for not only this period, but for life!) - Everything shall pass... Just take charge and find your way out of that situation!

Coming to pregnancy and stress... Just the next day I read an article in Mumbai Mirror. And then did a lot of reading online - They all have to say that 'Stress' has adverse effects on the baby! Chances of premature deliveries, still born child, stunted brain growth and pre rooted psychological disorders. 

Hence, follow a thumb rule -- Come what may... Do not stress in Pregnancy. Easier said than done... But you do not want a bigger reason to stress in the future... so be careful today! 





Things to do to ward off stress (From things that certainly work to things that they claim work!!)

1. Deep Breathing techniques (Prananyam) and Yoga

2. Physical activity - Either go walking in a garden or swimming or some other work out. 

3. Go shopping - Splurge some money and you will feel good!









4. Sweet Rush! 'Stressed' when spelt backwards is 'Desserts' - And they do instantly work! 


5. Soothing music - Play some music either for yourself or make the baby hear it. 


6. Watch any of your favourite films. 








7. Sleep as much as you can. 










8. Get yourself a massage done - the stress points will help you relax. 










9. Call people over and try to distract yourself.










10. Above all - accept, address and move ahead!! 

Swing in my mood... How could I be so rude?

Since last week, me and my husband, have brought in some constructive changes in our daily routine! We wake up at 5 am and go for a walk. While he continues taking a jog, I sit there on the grass and do my prenatal Yoga. We have also changed our eating habits and made them as healthy as possible. Lot of good reading, soothing music and a good vibe in the home as a whole!!

But yesterday, something in my head got twisted - and I suffered from what I would like to call my first mood swing mania. We watched a film in the evening, got out of the theatre, making plans of cooking mix veg and roti for dinner. But as the car drove out of the parking lot, on to the road, something in me changed and triggered some very uneasy feelings. Suddenly my mood dropped and I started snapping at my husband for the way he was driving the car. Once and twice and thrice - he ignored; but the forth time, he asked me to relax. Not that he was too rude or something. But for me, he was! And that led to the turmoil of unnecessary negative emotions, that went on for almost three hours thereafter. It not only ruined our dinner plans, with none of us eating anything, it even disturbed our schedule and we couldn't go for a jog today. I cried or rather wailed and howled like someone had died for almost two hours. I don't know where all that negativity came from. I was quite happy with everything in my life. And suddenly for those two hours I felt like everything in my life was wrong - from my choice of husband, to our finances, to the break in my career, the pregnancy, everything in life was just simply a bad choice or bad timing. I was feeling miserable. My chest was hurting, my throat was hurting, my uterus was hurting - I guess the baby was panicking with me, which was leading to cramps, my breathing was strained and my head just spinning all over the place. Even now, in retrospect, as I report it down, I dread to be in that space again. One of the worst nights in all these years! For the first time in 27 years, I slept having skipped a meal and my daily dose of medicines and milk. Even in the moment, I knew I was doing wrong to the baby - why was I starving him or her?  But I had become cold to all these feelings, extremely adamant and rude. I must have accused my husband of all the things he had never done and criticised him for all the support he was giving me during this pregnancy!! I would shout and insult; and then the next minute rush to hug him, expecting him to understand and hug me back. I would throw away the plate of dinner that he would bring for me and then accuse him that you never come to me when I am low!  Finally he declared that we should sleep - we have had enough!! Feeling drained and miserable, I went to bed, dreading what will tomorrow be like! 

But luckily in my sleep, he hugged me tight and made me believe that he still loved me and was always going to be there by me, however difficult I may get. That reassured me somehow and I could sleep! And then when we woke up, much later than our daily 5 AM timing; it all seemed to have got back to normal. It felt like any other day, as though nothing had really happened last night!! Luckily, even he understood and woke up with a smile, teasing me and pulling my leg like any normal day, having ignored all those mean things I told him yesterday. 

This episode compelled me to search the net for 'mood swings in pregnancy'! Almost everyone, be it doctors or fellow bloggers or childbirth researches and specialists; ; they all blamed these two notorious hormones - Oestrogen and Progesterone!!! 

Especially with Oestrogen, they say its actions are too complex for researchers to having completed mastered. Though it does have a very good and happy effect on the brain; it is still the reason for increase in irritability also. During pregnancy, when the oestrogen levels rise up to almost three times the highest the woman has ever had during menstruation - it does lead to extreme irritability and short temper. 

With Progesterone, it is supposed to have a calming effect on the brain. But when, in pregnancy, its levels fluctuate and dip low, it causes rage and violent behaviour. 

So all in all, I realised that mood swings was quite a common phenomenon and I was not the only one suffering! But I also realised that it is damn tricky to know when you have crossed the line. Because extreme mood swings could also be the signs of depression, gestational diabetes, hyperthyroidism and migraine. They also say that the depression and/or anxiety rate in women is pregnant women is as high as one in ten women. And needs immediate attention or can have serious side effects and repeat values in the longer run! And in such cases, immediate medial help is needed. So the minute you feel that your mood swings are over doing it; please do report to your doctor. He or she will never know otherwise!! 

So be good to your bad mood - it is just a by-product... the feeling will soon pass.....!!! And hug your husband and apologise for the ride he had to take along with you, without realising what the hell was happening.. !!!

Maternity Fashion!!

Fashion for women is like cars for men I believe... However young or old, women enjoy celebrating and adorning the latest fashion trends. Don't let your pregnancy make you shy away from what you enjoy the most... You still have a zillion options to look stylish, classy, traditional or sexy - whatever look you fancy! 

1. Indian Festive/ Traditional Look:
Attending a traditional Indian function: Follow Aiswarya Rai in her saree or Genelia in her gorgeous Anarkalis. Even Karishma Kapoor in her simple yet classy salwar kameez makes her mark. Anarkalis seem to rule this category I believe, with almost all the Indian divas sporting that look. 

(Please ensure you avoid wearing your heels!)

2. Casual meeting with friends or dinner with family - where fashion is not so crucial but comfort is! And yet you want to look pleasant and presentable. 

There are a lot of options from long or knee length dresses with a shrug to tunics teamed with comfortable pants. 

3. If its just you and your husband in the house... just a long tee will keep you breezy and super comfortable. 

If you have people, loose cotton kurtas can come to your rescue. 

4. Team up with shrugs or jackets or 'kotis'

5. If you can carry it off... Embrace the sexy you!!

6. Dungaree.... Skirt or dress or pants!!! All look damn cool!

While you bask in your pregnancy glow and flaunt your pregnancy dressing; just keep in mind a few things:

1. Nothing too tight - keep it breezy. 

2. Avoid synthetics, stick to cottons and comfortable fabrics. 

3. Wear comfortable bras - don't try too hard!!

4. Avoid anything too clingy to the tummy - will give you a suffocating feeling.

5. No heels!!

6. Give denims a miss and opt for maternity pants that support the baby bump rather than pressuring it. 

7. Maternity belts beneath your dress can be a good support while heading out of the house for long.   

8. Accessorise with a scarf or a shrug if you are not too comfortable flaunting your new curve. 

Happy Mother's Day!!

The significance of motherhood is not in the biological process but in the willingness to include another life as a part of yourself.

- Sadguru

As early as now, when I am hardly five months pregnant - I can feel that fear, that love, that nervousness that a mother feels. In a few months from now, my life is going to revolve around this little miracle, that was breeding inside me for nine months and is finally out and alive - to be called my child. 

Not a single day has passed since the time I found out about my pregnancy; where I haven't thought about what I will do to bring up my child. There is this nervous feeling - whether will you do everything right or will you fall and fail? I think motherhood begins right there - in the anticipation of the responsibility that is so big! It is a life!

Something in me has deeply changed and I can feel what my mother feels each time she sees me after a long time. There is a tinkle in her eye that shines with selfless, limitless love! But there have been times when she has been scared and worried and terrified as to what will happen to me. Especially on occasions where she wasn't sure I was doing the right thing. I feel that terror too these days. Will my child grow up to be a good human being? Will I make all the right decisions while bringing him or her up? Will I be half as good a parent when compared to my own? 

All these are lessons of philosophy... Now lets come down to some ground level reality. All these deep things will disappear in the first few years of your motherhood... When your life would have toppled around and you would be wondering - Is this the price I have to pay??? 

For all those times - just breathe and smile!! Rather laugh at yourself and play with your child!! If you want you can even use the famous Mantra from the film 3 Idiots --  "All is Well!! All is Well!!"

Is it your surprise gift??

The film 'Ki and Ka' had a scene where Kareena's character doubts that she is pregnant and picks up a fight with Arjun's character - accusing him that pregnancy was the ultimate weapon he used to tame down her ambitions so that he could confine her to home and prove his masculinity. Though in the film it later turns out that she is not pregnant. But I saw the film, just after I was declared pregnant; and it affected me deeply!! Is that how I was supposed to think? Was it going to be the end of my career and my life? But when I thought it through... I had a very different realisation.

Me and my husband were not planning a baby when I got pregnant! In fact we had planned to not have kids for almost 3-4 years. There were more important things for both of us to do - book to finish, loans to pay off, savings to create and a future to secure - before we even thought of extending our family! And  then God announced his special plan. He tricked us!! I was the one who would track even a week's delay in my periods to avoid any risks and start taking necessary medication. But this time around - before I could feel that I have missed my periods and I should take a pregnancy check - I spotted some bleeding - which I assumed was periods but was actually either implantation bleeding or a normal spotting that happens to some women during the first trimester! I got relaxed and my pregnancy got settled!! 

It was almost 4 weeks later, when I had fever and had to be hospitalised; did we realise that I was already 8 weeks pregnant. It was the most shocking news of my life!!!! What were we supposed to do?? The radiologist had made me hear the heart beats when we got our sonography done!! Now going for an abortion wouldn't be as simple as popping some pill and not realising what I was doing. Now it would mean killing a life which had already begun to live... So we took the decision, anybody else in our place would have taken -- we went ahead with the pregnancy. 

But very soon we realised it was our 'surprise gift'!! Sooner or later - you always start enjoying your pregnancy. You may have had different plans for your life and career; and now you would have to modify them for the child. But in the end it will always be worth it. It will always bring more meaning to your life than the money in your bank or the promotions on your resume...

If I have to speak for myself - it is hardly two months since the news first broke out to us - and I already have chalked out a revised plan for my life. And have started feeling that this is the best time for me to be pregnant.  And trust me I have had to make major sacrifices - losing out on a lot of work opportunities.  The one to go to work almost every day of my life - was compelled to stay back at home. And this sabbatical would continue for almost a year now - At least till the baby is six months old. But somehow I am enjoying it now - all my pending work - I am finally able to complete. I got back to writing!! And have made a few other plans as well.

All in all, something or the other, always works out for you. So embrace the new change with a smile and things will always fall back in place. Though there will always be days that will be gloomy and will make you question your decision again. When you will feel that life might just become a bit too difficult - monies constrained! But just breathe and relax! Something or the other will always... Always work out!! So embrace your surprise gift... And celebrate!!