It has been a long gap since I posted my last article. And its this very gap that has actually inspired me to write this particular post. Because I am sure a lot of women, like me, have faced this dilemma and pressure in their head during their pregnancy. We all want to believe and are in the constant act to prove that we are just pregnant and that pregnancy in no way takes away my talent from me. And we are a hundred percent right in saying so. But often we go overboard in proving this to the world and ourselves even - in our bid to do all those things that we used to do before and continue multitasking. And rather than making us feel good about ourselves, it pushes us in a pit of self-despair. And for some cases, goes even a step further to lead to depression.
Here is a classic example through my personal account of how I just dodged this feeling in the recent past:
Once declared pregnant, the first thing I decided to do was to discontinue my regular office job. And in the bargain of that so called sacrifice, I had decided to do a lot of other things to keep my sanity intact. I wanted to single handedly maintain my daily blog, revive my old handicrafts company, manage a NGO's social media plan, finish my film script, edit my manuscript and then make dreamcatchers - and needless to say that do it all to the best of my capabilities.
But little did I know that it was not only my mind but my body that had to give me support? And that during my pregnancy; my body was going to act a little moody and difficult.
I would sleep in the night making elaborate 'to do' lists for the next day and then wake up to feel so tired and groggy that I wouldn't even make the breakfast according to menu - instead just go for an easier quick fix option. So the very first thing in the list would get disturbed and modified - and that the disturbance would continue to cripple the entire list till its end. And almost everyday everything would get pushed indefinitely. And that in turn led to unsolicited stress - the one that would arise with the pressure of 'under-performance' because you have always been so used to setting these targets for yourself and completing them successful. And now suddenly you feel disempowered and overall disappointed with yourself. You are anyways moody because of your hormonal fluctuations and now you feel your mood swings go further complicated because of this self-induced unrealistic expectations that you have set for yourself.
And then it struck to me: Relax! You need to be easy with yourself.
First two three days, I had felt really frustrated about not being able to write a post. My mind would constantly linger around what to write. And nothing would strike. Then I would decide to make a dreamcatcher but my spine would give up on me and I would just lie down thinking I should sleep for a couple of hours to reboot my energy. But then sleep would evade me because constant thoughts about the pending things to do would bother me. Finally I had to take charge. One day I decided I was going to give up on making these 'to do' lists and rather just go with the flow. A week passed by and I didn't tell myself what to do. I just did what I felt like doing. And in a couple of days I realised that I was doing much better. If not all, at least I was back to doing a few productive things in a day. And that too stress free! Though I was unable to tap all my work loads; at least half of them I was successfully ticking. And then it struck to me what the problem was - The problem was that I was overloading my self with expectations and performance pressure. If I got a little easy with myself and made lighter 'to do' lists; I'd still be able to execute them. I start doing that and things started rolling in my favour again. All my things were getting done - the pace was different but the success rate was retained. The frustration had gone because the pressure had gone. All in all, I was back to being the multi-talented, multi-tasking pregnant woman that I always wanted to be. And the sure shot way I could achieve that was by being reasonable with myself.
One needs to accept that pregnancy is not the time to prove how much work you can do or how efficient you are. You are already doing a miracle in a way - there is a human forming inside of you. And in all your 'to do' lists - maintaining that proficiency should be on the top of the list - so what if that demands you to sleep a two hours extra or laze around for awhile. In your bid to finish you rmundane tasks, you can't stress the baby inside - because his or her right development is not a task - it is your most important responsibility. And nothing should effect that adversely. All your personal goals and life expectations should ideally work around this one thing and not over it. You are creating the next generation - credit yourself duly for it - don't let any pressure in your head ever tell you that it is taking away from you, your talent or your overall personality. Honestly, it is adding to you in ways you will never be able to do otherwise - it is that layer which is the most divine, evolved and accomplished in a way.
So once again.. Let me reiterate - Relax! You need to be easy with yourself! And you need to value this period that you are going through!! Celebrate your womanhood and celebrate your pregnancy.
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