A pregnant woman's dilemma over her expectations with herself!

It has been a long gap since I posted my last article. And its this very gap that has actually inspired me to write this particular post. Because I am sure a lot of women, like me, have faced this dilemma and pressure in their head during their pregnancy. We all want to believe and are in the constant act to prove that we are just pregnant and that pregnancy in no way takes away my talent from me. And we are a hundred percent right in saying so. But often we go overboard in proving this to the world and ourselves even - in our bid to do all those things that we used to do before and continue multitasking. And rather than making us feel good about ourselves, it pushes us in a pit of self-despair. And for some cases, goes even a step further to lead to depression. 

Here is a classic example through my personal account of how I just dodged this feeling in the recent past:

Once declared pregnant, the first thing I decided to do was to discontinue my regular office job. And in the bargain of that so called sacrifice, I had decided to do a lot of other things to keep my sanity intact. I wanted to single handedly maintain my daily blog, revive my old handicrafts company, manage a NGO's social media plan, finish my film script, edit my manuscript and then make dreamcatchers - and needless to say that do it all to the best of my capabilities. 

But little did I know that it was not only my mind but my body that had to give me support? And that during my pregnancy; my body was going to act a little moody and difficult. 

I would sleep in the night making elaborate 'to do' lists for the next day and then wake up to feel so tired and groggy that I wouldn't even make the breakfast according to menu - instead just go for an easier quick fix option. So the very first thing in the list would get disturbed and modified - and that the disturbance would continue to cripple the entire list till its end. And almost everyday everything would get pushed indefinitely. And that in turn led to unsolicited stress - the one that would arise with the pressure of 'under-performance' because you have always been so used to setting these targets for yourself and completing them successful. And now suddenly you feel disempowered and overall disappointed with yourself. You are anyways moody because of your hormonal fluctuations and now you feel your mood swings go further complicated because of this self-induced unrealistic expectations that you have set for yourself. 

And then it struck to me: Relax! You need to be easy with yourself.

First two three days, I had felt really frustrated about not being able to write a post. My mind would constantly linger around what to write. And nothing would strike. Then I would decide to make a dreamcatcher but my spine would give up on me and I would just lie down thinking I should sleep for a couple of hours to reboot my energy. But then sleep would evade me because constant thoughts about the pending things to do would bother me. Finally I had to take charge. One day I decided I was going to give up on making these 'to do' lists and rather just go with the flow. A week passed by and I didn't tell myself what to do. I just did what I felt like doing. And in a couple of days I realised that I was doing much better. If not all, at least I was back to doing a few productive things in a day.  And that too stress free! Though I was unable to tap all my work loads; at least half of them I was successfully ticking. And then it struck to me what the problem was - The problem was that I was overloading my self with expectations and performance pressure. If I got a little easy with myself and made lighter 'to do' lists; I'd still be able to execute them. I start doing that and things started rolling in my favour again. All my things were getting done - the pace was different but the success rate was retained. The frustration had gone because the pressure had gone. All in all, I was back to being the multi-talented, multi-tasking pregnant woman that I always wanted to be. And the sure shot way I could achieve that was by being reasonable with myself. 

One needs to accept that pregnancy is not the time to prove how much work you can do or how efficient you are. You are already doing a miracle in a way - there is a human forming inside of you. And in all your 'to do' lists - maintaining that proficiency should be on the top of the list - so what if that demands you to sleep a two hours extra or laze around for awhile. In your bid to finish you rmundane tasks, you can't stress the baby inside - because his or her right development is not a task - it is your most important responsibility. And nothing should effect that adversely. All your personal goals and life expectations should ideally work around this one thing and not over it. You are creating the next generation - credit yourself duly for it - don't let any pressure in your head ever tell you that it is taking away from you, your talent or your overall personality. Honestly, it is adding to you in ways you will never be able to do otherwise - it is that layer which is the most divine, evolved and accomplished in a way. 

So once again.. Let me reiterate - Relax! You need to be easy with yourself! And you need to value this period that you are going through!! Celebrate your womanhood and celebrate your pregnancy. 

New mothers on Home Arrest! We still found you ways to shop!!!

New mother in India?? Most often, first forty days you are going to be forbidden from stepping out of the house. There will be a new life around you - Those tiny little fingers and twinkling eyes. Your ultimate new companion! And there will be so much to shop for him or her. But no one is letting you out. Even for daily necessities like the diapers you will have to rely on your husband or some family member. Anywhere else in the world you would have stocked up in advance. But as per the oldest fables heard, you are not allowed that either. Too much celebration or preparation in advance seem to bring bad omen. So once again, your plan to shop for your child is going to fail. And even if you did belong to those families who didn't believe in these things - there were few things you still didn't know -  boy or a girl. So what about all those gender specific dressing up ideas? 

But then..

How about some home found Jugaad of a solution! 

SHOPPING ONLINE - Sitting right in your room with your little one. Trust me, shopping online is so convenient and needless to say that it has the widest range of things on offer. 

Just the other day I went to a local shop to pick up 'breast pads' and the sales girl looked at me as though I had asked her for something from another planet! Even for things like these - that are probably not a common practise in India and hence not easily available everywhere - you can rely on the internet to come to your rescue. Online portals stock up almost everything under the sun. And with new designers and small scale entrepreneurs propping up everyday - getting unique, customised stuff online is equally easy. 

All you need to know is 'Where to look for?'

Bumpy Miracle is extensively going to work on the 'Shopper's Paradise' section this month (It is in a way my personal online research getting recorded for everyone's use!) where I will list down all possible online solutions for you and your baby - during pregnancy, after delivery, new born, as a toddler, while growing up or ever in life ;-)

MISSION PARENTING

There is always a lot of enthusiasm about welcoming the new member into the family around pregnancy - but soon that becomes a routine. In the initial years, everything is an adventure - from potty to burping to feeding to swaddling.. Even the fathers want to participate to change nappies and wash milk bottles. But as time passes, those sleepless nights start hitting to you. And then you start missing being your older self. But very soon, there is some movement in the house again - some crawling, some walking, some sounds and then some words. Again the excitement is restored. Videos start pouring in on daily basis to record all the landmark developments in the baby. But soon all that will also be over. The words, now sentences, rather endless chatter - starts echoing in the house, giving headaches. You are short of answers and they are full of opinions. You suddenly wonder why is their brain developing - why aren’t they simply following us like before. Why are they growing up so fast? And then, before you know it - you have reached the most difficult level of the game! You are in the trap. Your child is not developing motor skills anymore - your child is developing a personality. And this is your board exams. Now is the time when you are going to struggle to keep up your scores. Making the formula correct and keeping the baby sanitised and healthy was easy. Now is the time to keep the mind and heart healthy. And this is the time I dread the most about. 

Every now and then, I see parents struggling with some or the other issues with their children. Either they are too naughty or too stubborn or too gullible or too cranky or watch a lot of TV or don’t eat well or misbehave with elders or something or the other. I strongly feel that the problem is with the parents and how they handle these things. Half the time - there is a denial that there is an issue they need to resolve. If at all there is acceptance of the issue - then it is in the form of a complaint of helplessness. There is never the determination to find the solution. “What to do they just don’t eat?” “No, no it is not that they are always misbehaved - today they were just tired so cranky!” “I tried everything - threatening and hitting even - nothing seems to bring a change in this rigid little monster!”

There must be solutions. 

There have to be some resolutions! 

And parents need to figure that out. 

There can’t be any excuse of time constraints or hands too full in this matter. If the mother is unable to manage alone - the father needs to step in, in more ways than just paying bills or taking out on weekends. 

How will I find my way out when my kid will just not listen or co operate - I still haven’t found the answer yet. But there are these few things that I have understood for sure:

One cannot anticipate how the child is going to react. But one can always control their own reaction as parents to their child’s action. 

So, don’t see dreams for the child. See them for yourself. 

Dream not about how I am going to ensure my child eats everything. Plan about how will I ensure that my child gets the right nutrition even if he or she decides to live only on toffies! 

Dream not about how well behaved my child will be. Plan about how I will mould my child to either not develop wrong habits or rectify them in time. 

Dream not about how intelligent my child will be. Plan how I will help him or her embrace their inner strengths and find the best means for them to prosper using them. 

Your children are not your trophies - do not display them. They are your treasure - cherish them. 

There is no denial that somedays the road will be really rocky. But vouch to hang in there. Never give up or never go overboard. Let your motto be to find the right balance. And then lets see what happens. 

 ‘MISSION PARENTING’ it certainly is!! But I am happy the new generation tries different ways at least. I am happy I am exposed to this world of fellow bloggers, mostly mothers, who have poured their journeys onto their websites and also inspired me to do the same. At least - that gives us all these common platforms where we can come to vent and at the same time find solutions... 

How safe is the 'Paracetamol' in Pregnancy

Ever since I got pregnant, the one thing I have been afraid of is putting anything into my body that is not natural. Something as simple as a bleach on my face also I have avoided. Or eating outside food. Because I have been dreading falling sick like crazy. Since the day one, this thing got very strongly ingrained in my system that I am not going to put myself through a situation where I have to take any unnecessary medicines - as that is after all chemicals going into my body. When all I want my baby to get is unadulterated love. 

But little did I know that my unbearable tooth ache is going to bring me to the crossroads where I will have to make a tough choice and pop a pill? Headaches have always given me company since a very young age. We have always failed at getting to the root cause of their recurrent occurrence. And all through my pregnancy they continued to give me company. Earlier, every few days, my headache would compel me to take a strong painkiller. But ever since my pregnancy, I have pushed myself to bear that pain come what may. I would ask my husband to give me a massage at the most or pick up a fight with him to remove my frustration; but never once did I take a painkiller. 

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And then one day, as soon as I entered my third trimester; my wisdom tooth decided to give me a hell of a torture. For almost ten nights, back to back it would give me unbearable pain. I tried it all - putting a clove in my mouth to rubbing clove oil to a pain out tube to brushing every two hours to salt water gargles to breathing exercises to everything. But that throbbing pain - from my tooth to my cheek to my ear to my head to my neck - would just not give up on me. Each night I would vouch to go to the dentist and get something done; and the next morning it would get back to normal - the pain would simply disappear. Finally I spoke to my doctor and he said - you can get your tooth treated but avoid extraction at this stage. We do not want to further complications - anyways your haemoglobin is low, what if there is excessive blood loss or some deeper infection after the extraction - we will be compelled to give you heavy doses of medicines - which I do not recommend at this stage. I explained to him that the pain was getting unbearable now. And I had to do something about it. He asked me take a paracetamol if need be. A mild paracetamol is the almost harmless don't worry - he tried to assure me. 

I still avoided it for a few days - till one night - when I couldn't bear it anymore. And then in any extreme case of helplessness, I popped my first paracetamol. My heart went out to my baby. Though I had instant relief from the pain - my heart was aching inside. Had I caused any harm to my child? Next morning I took the first appointment with my dentist and she let me down further - she declared that I had no choice but to bear through the pain. The wisdom tooth needed extraction and that they would have to do without a prior X-ray - making it even more risky. She said the only thing I could do was take a paracetamol each time the pain would be unbearable. And she told me that the pain would come to me in episodes, so I wouldn't be needing to take the medicine everyday. But that left me highly disappointed.

So if I needed to sleep - during these episodes, I would have to take a pill. There was no escaping it. Hence, the first thing I decided to do was to find out for myself the real affect of paracetamol on the child. I read almost all medical reports available online and cross checked with all my doctors - my homeopath, my general physician, my cousin who is a doctor and my gynaecologist. And surprisingly - it didn't turn out even half as bad as I thought it would. 

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Here is some information I thought I should compile to help you understand better what I mean:

1. Anything in excess, needless to say, is invariably harmful. And so is a 'paracetamol'. But it is still one of the safest drugs during pregnancy when taken in mild doses. They say upto a 1000mg a day is considered safe. Though one should avoid it as much as possible. 

2. Are there any extreme studies about side effects in case of excessive consumption - 

a) A study conducted by the University of Edinburgh has shown that extensive - not occasional - use could cause male reproductive disorders at birth or in early childhood due to low testosterone production. (Source)

b) Extensive use of paracetamol could lead to issues in the development of communication and behaviour. (Source)

c) Excessive use has seen some cases of the child developing asthma. (Source)

3. Overall - it is believed that paracetamol in pregnancy doesn't cause any serious harm to the baby - like still birth or premature delivery or reduced weight at birth time or any serious birth defects. (Source)

[Today - I have given sources along so as to assure the reader with multiple opinions over this issue. It was a very sensitive thing to me and could be the same for my reader. ]

So all in all - I understood that a paracetamol - in case of crisis - is not a problem.

And I also understood that when the pain is unbearable it is better to take it than not. Because when you suffer in that pain, your child suffers with you. (For unbearable pain I mean!) 

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Being a true friend to your child!

This quote by Matt Walsh is the most honest thing I have ever read about 'Parenting' -

Nobody wishes to be a bad parent, then why is it that some fail and only a handful succeed? 

BUT.. WHAT REALLY IS SUCCESSFUL PARENTING??

=> If your child comes first in class - is that when you are a good parent? 

(What about giving some credit to the child's natural intelligence!)

=> Or is it when, he touches everyone's feet when he greets the elders? 

(What if the minute he turns he is muttering something else or doing it just out of compulsion?)

=> Or do you simply pride in the fact that you have given your child all that your parents couldn't afford for you?

(You could afford to buy the world for him, which market will you go looking for happiness?)

Will only his academic performance or social skills or your monetary contribution to his needs account for the parameters on which parenting will be evaluated?

Who bothers about the child's mental state, happiness quotient or say, ability to deal with failures??? 

No one wants to teach their kids how to handle failures! Because no one wants their children to fail! But is it ever going to happen in the real world? He may not fail as a student but he could fail as a lover or at something else! Life has a lot to offer and one cannot predict it to always be honky-dory! So do we prepare our kids enough for those testing times? 

~

Everyone wants to be 'Hero' parents! My father, the greatest! My mother, the sweetest! The father wants to ensure that there is the best of everything, as he dutifully provides for his child - best clothes, best toys, best school, best birthday parties, best gadgets - everything best, never a compromise, never a 'No'! And the mother wants to ensure she showers enough love - even when the child is being difficult, arrogant, abusive, naughty, misbehaved - never scold, never hit, always support, always love - spoil me silly! 

Why have these new generation parents forgotten that it is important to say 'No' and important to have your control. Teach your children to love you even when you are not perfect. Then they will love themselves even when they won't be perfect. Teach them that there will be difficult times and we will need to stand together as a family. Then they will learn that in life, everything won't come easy, so they will never fear struggle. Teach you children how unimportant are materials. And they will learn not to judge others by their riches but their talents. 

~

The new trend in parenthood is to be 'friends' not 'parents'! Right! One should have a certain friendship with their children. But in this material world, we are losing out on understanding the true meaning of that friendship. Is giving your son the latest iPhone being his friend? Or is it by letting them drink with you? How is it then, that in spite of doing all those things; teenagers are taking extreme steps and committing suicide while the parents were fooled to believe that their kids were happy? 

Something, somewhere is wrong! Something we all need to figure out for ourselves! No one can tell you how you can be a 'good parent' or a 'great friend' to your child. It is something unique that you will have to build yourself.

As friends, explore the goodness of life - read together, go for nature treks, cook a meal at times, enjoy a quite evening at the beach - take out the old guitar and strum it together, give art one final try and make those confident, messy strokes together - laugh at each other's masterpieces and then celebrate the moment with some home cooked dessert. Take them shopping, but not in those malls - let them explore the treasure that you find on the streets - let them wear it with pride. Show them your first bike, if you still have it, and let them ride it. Tell them how much it means to you today and why. Take them to that small house you once lived in or to that remote village where you hailed from - let them meet your roots and relate to your journey. Let them appreciate what you have offered to them and let them decide for themselves what they want for their future.. Let them soar as high as they wish.. But teach them that it is the ground where they need to return to - their true home, their true self! 

Third Trimester Terms: Baby Dropping or Lightening!

"Lightening/Engagement" Illustration by Beth Okurowski from the book Pregnancy, Birth and You.

What is a baby dropping or lightening?

Almost towards the end of the third trimester, when the baby starts settling lower into the pelvis - it is called baby dropping or lightening. It is nothing but a positive sign that the baby and your body are both gearing up for the ‘D’ Day!

When is the ideal time for it? And when is it time to ring an alarm if it hasn’t happened?

Every pregnancy is different. And it is difficult to say when is the ideal time for your baby to drop. For some, it happens as late as just before the labour. As far as the baby is healthy - do not worry. 

First Pregnancy - Anytime after the 32nd or 34th week of Pregnancy!

Second Pregnancy onwards - At the time of Delivery!

Can baby dropping predict the labour time?

Not really! There is no fixed time gap between the baby dropping and starting of labour. Though it is observed that for first time mothers, baby dropping can happen anytime between two to four weeks before the labour. And for mothers, who already have children; there is no fixed time at all - it can happen as late as at the time of labour!

Will I literally see the dropping of my abdomen from outside?

No.. You may not realise that difference! But your heartburns due to acidity will reduce and pressure on the bladder will increase - These might be signs that could help you conclude. 

But there will always be those vigilant aunties who might point out to you that they have noticed the difference and conclude to you that your baby has dropped! 

Do the babies that are still in the breach position post the 30th week also drop?

Like I said before - each pregnancy is unique. Yes, some babies do drop even in the breach position. And some of them even successfully come out via the vagina. Though there are more chances that the doctors will suggest a C-Section for a breach baby. (One should never just rely on accumulated information in such complex situations - rather always be in touch with the doctor and do what is right for you - irrespective of the world has to say!)

Some third trimester terms: Braxton Hicks Contractions

There are these certain terms that are only within the reach of today's generation - thanks to the number of books they read and the ever so accessible and informative world of internet. If I ask my mother or any of the aunts - they would wonder what the hell am I talking about. Though they must have all experienced it during their pregnancy - but none would have known that there is a term like this and that it is also so famous. 

Braxton Hicks Contractions: They are nothing but sporadic contractions in the Uterus - the ones that occur through the nine months of pregnancy at irregular intervals and intensities - before the actual labour contractions begin! Most women don't even realise that they are contractions and they did follow some pattern. It is much later in the third trimester, that these contractions pick up momentum and appear at regular intervals - often even confusing the mother whether it is the sign of labour! 

They have this name because they were reported about for the first time by Dr. Hicks. 

What do I really need to know about them?

- What to do when they are extremely painful?

There is hardly much you can do in these things - these are ways in which the body is gearing for baby birth. But a hot water bath is invariably a good soothing options for half the problems in pregnancy. It just helps you relax. Also, dehydration is often responsible for multiplying the affect of all kinds of cramps - so ensure you are drinking enough water. Try to distract the mind - walk around the house, watch TV, do some other activity. Breathing exercises - develop your own mechanism around breathing. Take deep breathes - count them - concentrate on them! This will not only help you now, but will also come to your rescue during your labour. 

- When to ring an alarm and call the Doctor?

Anything that feels unbearable should be reported. Then even if the doctor has to tell you it is alright, its ok. Better reported than not! Also, if any unusual discharges from the vagina accompany the cramps - you should report to your doctor without fail. 

Those weird questions they pose or things they do!!!

Pregnancy is a time when you are full of questions and an equal number of random answers are also floating around you - from all the other ladies in your family and beyond!! The real question amongst this is what to listen to and what to filter? And how on Earth are you supposed to know what exactly is right for you? 

A simple answer is - listen to your body, your doctor, your mother and then no-one - This is the right order!! 

The closer you get to your delivery time, all these instructions and unsolicited advices are going to multiply. Listen to them all - then either laugh or think over it. In this post, I am compiling a few of really weird questions that people have asked or the things that they do that can be really annoying at this stage. 

1. Are your breasts leaking already? It means you are going to have an early labour!

- Yes, this is certainly a sign that your body is gearing up to deliver in sometime. But no certain sign that you are going to deliver soon. Some people have experienced these discharges from the first month of the pregnancy - then would they have delivered then or what?

2. If the baby is fully developed and healthy, take it out in advance na - why you want to bear for another month? 

- What is this - some ice-cream forming inside you - that you start nibbling on it once it is ready? Relax! If it is some doctor telling you this nonsense - you need to rethink your decision about having this doctor! Everything has it's right time.. If the child would have been ready, it would have come out on its own. Yes, unless there is some emergency or you are carrying multiple babies - don't let anyone tell you when to take out the baby. Let Nature do its job!

3. Your bump has become so big and you still wear a seat belt? 

- YOU better wear a seat belt while travelling. In a case of emergency braking, that belt will be your saviour! Position the belt rightly on your body if it is bothering you - though mostly it just shouldn't!

4. So it's a boy or a girl? Haven't you seen it in your sonography yet? You can easily make out! 

Yes, of course you can make out in the sonography. And I also believe that it is ok for you to know whether it is a boy or a girl. But if you haven't checked yet, and want to unwrap that mystery only at birth - don't let anyone make you feel you have been a less of a vigilant person during your sonography.. You were seeing the little one - all your love and concentration was on cherishing that moment - it is ok if you didn't know in advance whether it is a boy or a girl. 

5. When does your baby kick the most? Is it during the night? Then you are going to have a nightmare putting him or her to sleep once out!! 

- The baby is supposed to kick 24X7.. And night is the time when you are doing nothing else - so you notice it more and more often. That is no way a connection that the baby, when out, is going to keep you up in the night. Yes, the baby is going to have some trouble initially, while establishing a sleeping pattern and will keep you up in the night - but that has no correlation with the kicking at night. 

6. This one is probably not for everyone - but I was hit with it and it's the most bizarre thing ever - Are you going to let your child also pursue a creative field like you and your husband? There is so much insecurity and hardships that you guys go through - will you let your child also go through it?

- I wanted to shout from the roof top - LET THE CHILD BREATHE IN THE OUTSIDE AIR FIRST!! And then decide what career to take and what not to take! 

7. Why do you always feel tired? Aren't you taking enough care of yourself?

- Boss!! There is someone inside of me - growing all the time. So technically, even if I am not doing anything else, I am at least turning food to human - that takes a lot of my energy. Hence, I am tired. Do you have a problem?

8. When will you resume back to work? And how will you manage with the baby?

- These are few things mothers themselves are battling within their heads to find just the 'right' solution for them. And there is no general formula to get this right. People have different priorities in life and they lead to them taking a few decisions that only they understand. You don't need to answer this to anyone. When you will cross that bridge, people will see how you did it. No one will understand your perspective better than you. So don't waste your energy explaining. 

9. Worst of all will be all those random observations on your body changes:

- Oh! Your breasts have grown quite large! 

- Oh! Your breasts haven't grown so large - have you checked with the doctor?

- Oh! Your tummy is not showing so much - the baby is developing na properly?

- Oh! Your tummy is showing too much - that won't be a problem na?

- Oh! Why is your back also growing along - it will be difficult to shed that weight?

- Oh! Your tummy is growing low!

- Oh! Your tummy is growing quite in your face!

- You are glowing! Baby boy it is!!

- What happened to you? Your daughter seems to have stolen all your beauty!

10. And then will be those unsolicited touches - some of you may not mind at all - but some of us will find it very irritating - almost like prying in my personal space:

Why the hell should you touch my tummy to ask me how am I feeling? I may not like those foreign touches on my body at this time! So give me that much space na. 

Third Trimester: Your final chance at some indulgence!!!

You have come a long way - once you were this little girl with two pony tails, then you became the rock chick with black nail polish, then you chose to take your work seriously, then you explored the other sex and dated a few of them, then you zeroed down on this one person, after some months or years you exchanged some vows with him, and now you are carrying a child - soon to be a mother. Life has certainly come a long way. So much has changed over the years. Your priorities, your thinking, your decisions in life - all has gone through major metamorphosis time and again. And if you are in the third trimester, life is once again going to take a steep turn in just a few months. Once the baby is out, life can never go back to anything as before. So while you are still on this side of time, there are a few things you should indulge in. Because you do not know when will you get to experience that again. 

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SLEEP TILL YOU FEEL LIKE
This is not just sleep well or sleep as much as you can. This is about sleep whenever and how much ever you feel like while you are still the master of your sleep. Soon, the power will be handed over to someone else - and he or she will decide when and how long you can sleep. You will be at the mercy of the little one, whether you will be even granted a good few hours at the night or no - forget taking naps through the day at your will!

PERSONAL GROOMING 

Plan a day to spend at the salon at leisure. Get your hair cut, hair spa, pedicure, manicure, facial clean up - whatever you fancy! You may not have this luxury in a few months. Either you will book cut-to-cut appointments at the baby’s sleeping time or call someone over for some basic grooming at home. But all the hair spas and fancy nails are not going to be on your priority list mind you. So while you are still in love with yourself above others - indulge! Soon someone is going to take that prime spot in your life. 

FUN EVENINGS WITH YOUR GIRL GANG

Soon you will have a little one tagging along with you wherever you go. So catch up with your girl gang - laugh, gossip, bitch - do whatever you wish to do. 

WATCH A MOVIE IN A  CINEMA HALL

This you may not do for a couple of years now actually (Unless you are the kinds who would like to take your little one to the cinema hall to disturb others around you!). The father may still find ways to catch up on the latest releases with his friends, you might not have that luxury - the baby always demands more from the mother than the father. 

COOK YOUR MOST FAVOURITE MEAL AND CALL FRIENDS/FAMILY OVER

If you love cooking and are the kind who often calls over friends or family over elaborate menus, specially cooked by you -  Here is your chance - do it now! Because for a few months after your delivery - you are going to dread even thinking about it. Then treats will mean calling food over or asking your cook to make some routine course. You spending a few hours - simply chopping finely, then grinding special spices, cooking elaborately, garnishing with extra care and then serving in style - will seem like an extension of your personality that has given up on you now. 

DINNER DATE WITH YOUR HUSBAND

Your husband is not running away anywhere. But an exclusive romantic date may seem like a thing of another lifetime soon. Those breast feeding sessions, followed by changing of nappies is going to keep you busy for quite a while. Book a nice romantic venue, and go for one extremely romantic candle-lit dinner date with your husband. (I’d say go for as many as possible!!)

FOLLOWED BY A ROMANTIC NIGHT

Either you may be advised against it or will be scared to do it yourself - Sex that is! But there is lot more to love making.. Put some music, light some aroma candles - enjoy each other’s company. Soon there will be just the hushed and rushed sessions - let the love find its expression while it’s just the two of you in the room.